


Nights Like These

by northernexposure



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 10:22:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20152066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernexposure/pseuds/northernexposure
Summary: Voyagerstops for a spot of shore leave.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Another fluffy/angsty 'shore leave' story from 2014. Beta'd by the fabulous MissyHissy3, of course.

Occasionally, it was almost possible to believe that there was nothing wrong at all. It was almost possible to believe that they weren't stranded in a distant and often hostile galaxy, decades from home. That they weren't separated from their loved ones by the greatest chasm that had ever parted human populations, that whatever plans for their lives they'd all had hadn't been put on indefinite and possibly infinite hold. Sometimes, just sometimes, being in the Delta Quadrant held a wonderful charm all of its own. The ship's current location was a perfect case in point.

_Voyager_ had stopped at a planet that scans had shown to be uninhabited. Further exploration had also determined it to be beautiful, not to mention teeming with fruits, vegetables and meats that, if harvested, would completely replenish the ship's dwindling supplies of fresh produce. Neelix had wasted no time in coming to Janeway to request that they stay put for at least five days.

"After all," the Talaxian implored her, "the morale of the crew really could use some polishing right now, Captain. So what do you say? Two days to gather produce, three days of shore leave?"

His whiskery face had been so honestly earnest that Kathryn had been forced to suppress a smile. Even if she hadn't already been inclined to make their stop a significant one, she might have let herself be persuaded by his argument anyway.

"All right, Neelix, let's do it. Work with Commander Chakotay on the rotas for the harvest and for shore leave – I'll let him know I'm authorising skeleton crews on board for the duration of our stop here," she told him, dropping the PADD with the latest scans of the planet on her desk as she stood. "This is the first chance the crew has had for decent R&R for too long, and we don't know when we'll next get the chance. Let's make the most of it."

Neelix's beaming smile was enough to light up the ready room. "Aye aye, Captain. And – you will promise me you'll do exactly that yourself? You won't just stay up here, on _Voyager_?"

She smiled, moving around her desk to rest her hand on his shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "I promise, Neelix. You can hold me to that."

In truth, the Talaxian hadn't needed to force a promise from her. Kathryn was as eager for real air as the rest of them, and the idea of an entire week with a planet at their disposal – well, she hadn't had that since New Earth. Not that she'd be thinking too much about that particular shore leave…

"I've had so many requests for extra shifts, you'd think we were paying them," Chakotay told her, as he delivered the final rota. "I've never seen the crew so eager to undertake manual labour."

She laughed, taking the PADD he offered and scanning it quickly. "I don't blame them. I'm half-tempted to take a few shifts myself. In fact, I think I will. Add me into one of the orchard rotations. It'll be like being back at home. My sister and I used to pick apples for one of the local farmers over summer when we were in high school."

Chakotay chuckled. "And now here I am visualising a teenage Kathryn Janeway up a ladder, pigtails flying, apples everywhere…"

"Pigtails?" she repeated.

His dark eyes twinkled. "No pigtails?"

"As a teenager? Absolutely not, what do you take me for?"

"Dammit," Chakotay said, without missing a beat. "There goes another mental image ruined."

He pulled off a swift exit before she'd even managed to open her mouth to respond. Hours later, she still found herself smiling.

The two days of gathering produce passed in a haze of activity and excitement., and with the cargo bays crammed to the brim, the crew set out to enjoy themselves with all the gusto of inmates on day release. Some opted to camp on the planet, but others returned each evening to sleep on board, filling _Voyager_'s corridors with laughter and the lingering impression of captured sunshine. Janeway alternated with Chakotay so that one of them was always aboard ship while the other was down on the planet, working in half-shift patterns so that each of them had ample time to enjoy the break.

The week was such a success that mid-way through it, Neelix began to worry.

"They've just all had such a good time, Captain," he fretted, calling her aside on the morning of the fourth day, "I'm concerned about what happens when we have to leave tomorrow evening. If anything, morale may dip even lower."

Kathryn saw exactly what he meant. There was part of her that didn't want to leave, either. The planet was beautiful, bountiful and peaceful. But still, she reasoned, it wasn't home and never could be. Or at least, it couldn't be for her. But for others? Maybe.

"Suggestions, Mr Neelix?" she asked.

"Well, Captain, I was wondering if we should have a – a big finale, of some kind."

"Oh? A party?"

"Yes, exactly, a party. And… perhaps you could say a few words, Captain. To start it off? Something positive about our journey – about continuing it, together."

Janeway nodded. "Good idea, Neelix. Oh – and one more thing…"

"Yes, Captain?"

"You are going to make one of those Jibelian fudge cakes, aren't you? For the party?"

The Talaxian's grin had been so wide that his whiskers quivered. "For you, Captain – anything."

Their final planetside gathering was to take the form of a cook-out. Once he heard about the party, Tom Paris introduced Neelix to the idea of a firepit, and after that there was no stopping them. The final day passed in a fury of preparation that involved the entire crew. Janeway, popping down to see how things were progressing, realised that Neelix really did know what he was doing where crew morale was concerned.

"He's a genius," she remarked to Chakotay later, as they convened in her ready room. "He's got everyone involved in preparing for tonight. Everyone has something to do, no matter how small. He's creating a natural climax to the week, and the build-up to it is helping them all adjust to the idea that it's coming to an end. Brilliant. We're lucky to have him, Chakotay. When we get home, I may even suggest the Fleet starts cloning him for every ship."

"Emergency Morale Officer Hologram?" Chakotay suggested.

She laughed. "Yes, exactly!"

Chakotay smiled, and then leaned against her desk. "You will stay this evening, won't you?" he asked. "Don't just start the party with your speech and come back to the ship."

She rested her chin on her palm and looked up at him. "That'll mean we're both on the planet, Chakotay. I think one of us should be here, don't you?"

"Tuvok will be here. He's already said he'd rather take bridge duty than attend the party. You should be there, Kathryn. The crew would like it. So would I – I feel as if I've hardly seen you this week."

She smiled. "Ships in the night, huh?"

Chakotay returned the smile. "Something like that."

Janeway thought for a moment, and then nodded. "All right. I'll stay."

"Good. Oh, and-" he paused in the act of walking for the door.

"What?"

"Just – how about foregoing the uniform tonight? You're the only member of the crew who hasn't taken it off, even for the days of shore leave."

She stood up and moved around the desk, leaning against it slightly. "Oh?" she said lightly, though even to her, her voice sounded slightly huskier than usual. "Does that mean you have a suggestion as to what I should wear, Commander?"

Chakotay covered his spark of surprise well, but she saw it. "Oh, I don't know, Captain," he said, after a moment, with a smile. "My guess is that you look good in anything."

She laughed. "Good answer, Commander. Very smooth."

[TBC]


	2. Chapter 2

She did forego her uniform. Kathryn chose a white shirt, pale blue jeans and flat white pumps – not too dressy, not too notable. She'd been wondering whether her moment of flirting with Chakotay earlier had gone too far – she knew it had – and had no intention of tempting fate even further. A week of relaxation was one thing, but tomorrow they'd be back on their journey. Best to avoid making things any more difficult than they needed to be, as fun as those moments always were.

The sun had already set when she kicked off the festivities with the speech Neelix had urged her to prepare. On a night like this one, it wasn't difficult for her to stand on a convenient tree trunk and tell her assembled crew how wonderful they were. How she needed them - all of them, every day. She kept the speech short, mindful that it was their last night of shore leave and that all of them deserved to have as much of it to themselves as possible.

"…So enjoy tonight," she said, rounding off her brief words. "You've earned it, every one of you. Enjoy being together, and enjoy this wonderful place. But remember that there are more planets like this one out there, many more, and each one of them represents a step nearer to our homes and to our loved ones. And someday – perhaps sooner than any of us think – that's where we'll be. Home. Because I know we're not there yet, but with your help – all of your help – one day, we will be. Thank you, everyone. Now enjoy yourselves!"

Applause cascaded through the night air as Kathryn finished speaking. Chakotay appeared by her side, offering a hand to help her down.

"Thank you," she said, once back on solid ground. "Was that all right?"

"Perfect," the Commander smiled. "You hit just the right notes. As always," he added.

She sighed. "Well, if I managed that, it's a relief. I have to admit, Chakotay, even I'm going to find it a wrench to order_ Voyager_ back out of orbit."

"I know what you mean," he admitted, and she watched as he looked around the clearing in which the gathering had been staged. "The fresh air will be one of the things I miss most about this place."

"Tell me what else you're going to miss," she asked, as they took drinks from the laden table and wandered to the quieter edge of the clearing. Behind them, the party was already getting into full swing, but Neelix had arranged for a series of fallen tree trunks to be manoeuvred around the outskirts to form rough seating. Janeway strolled to one and sat, and Chakotay joined her.

"The freedom, I suppose," he said, once they were settled. "Not being confined by walls and a lack of atmosphere. Being here… I could just decide to start walking and keep going."

She nodded. "I do know what you mean."

He looked down at his glass. "But I suppose that's a psychological thing, too."

"Oh?"

He smiled, glancing out at their gathered crew. "Here, I wouldn't be Commander Chakotay. I'd just be Chakotay. I can't pretend that sometimes, that isn't an attractive idea."

Kathryn smiled, tracing the path of his gaze. "I can understand that," she said.

"You can?"

"Why so surprised?"

He shook his head. "I can't imagine you being anything other than a captain. Despite everything, you love it."

"I do," she agreed, "but that doesn't mean there aren't times I wish I could step away from it. Just be Kathryn for a while."

"Really?" he asked, turning to look at her. "And what times are those?"

She was suddenly aware of how close they were sitting. Close enough that their shoulders brushed as he moved. Close enough that she could see past the flickering shadows of true evening and directly into his eyes, which seemed to be darker than usual. Whether that was simply because of the night or something else, Kathryn wasn't sure and tried not to speculate.

"You want specifics?" she asked, smiling.

He returned the smile. His gaze strayed briefly to where the collar of her white shirt lay open against her chest before he looked out at the crowd again. The music had started up. Tom had appointed himself in charge of such things, and had insisted that the only genre appropriate to the nature of their cook-out would be twentieth century Country music – "Not Country and Western," he'd assured them, as if they'd had any idea what the distinction would be or what either was anyway, "but good, proper _Country_. Trust me, it'll be great." Now, the sound of a guitar filled the air, fast enough to get feet tapping almost immediately.

"Yes," Chakotay said, looking back at her again with another smile, "I do. I want specifics. What, exactly, are the rare things that make Kathryn Janeway want to throw away the title of Captain?"

"I never want to throw it away," she corrected him. "It's just that sometimes… I'd like to take it off for a while. Like now, for instance."

"Oh?" He seemed to go very still.

"To dance," she clarified, quickly, as the music traced fast and convoluted patterns in the air. "I love to dance."

"So why don't you?"

"It just wouldn't be appropriate."

"You think that seeing the Captain dance would instantly lead to a breakdown of discipline in the ranks?"

She laughed. "No, but-"

"Well - what, then?" Chakotay leaned closer, a look of genuine curiosity on his face.

Kathryn shook her head. "It just – it's not what Captains do."

His shoulder bumped against hers again. "Do you know what I think?" he asked, moving closer to speak directly into her ear as the music grew louder. She was suddenly aware that he smelled… good. It was aftershave, she assumed, a deep scent, a heavy musk that swiftly tightened something forbidden within her. "I think you worry too much about what Captains are supposed to do."

"Is that right?"

"It is. And you know what else? I think seeing you dance would make the crew very happy."

"Oh you do, do you?"

Abruptly, Chakotay put down his drink and grasped her hand, pulling her to her feet as he stood. "Tell you what – why don't we find out?"

"Chakotay! I c-"

"You can," he told her, firmly, and then without giving her further chance to protest, pulled her toward the space designated for dancing.

"No one else is dancing!" she shouted at him over the music, mortified.

"Then you'll be setting a good example, won't you?" he shouted back. He didn't stop until they reached the centre of the space. Then he turned, still gripping her hand, as if worried she would try to get away if he let go. Chakotay leaned closer, towering over her in the flickering darkness. "It's just a dance, Kathryn," he said, as softly as the music would allow. "The ship won't come apart at the seams if we dance."

His free hand had found her waist before she had a chance to reply. The next thing Kathryn knew, they were dancing. He didn't pull her any closer, and the music was too fast to stop and think. All she could do was laugh – and dance. She heard a sudden murmur ripple through the crew as they realised what was happening, and a moment later, someone started to clap in time, and then someone else joined in, and then someone else, until there was a storm of hands all urging them on. From the corner of her eye, she saw Tom grab B'Elanna's hand and a moment later they were no longer dancing alone. More and more couples joined the dance, until they were surrounded by a whirl of motion and colour, all turning beneath the peerless clarity of a star-specked night.

Chakotay pulled her toward him a fraction, leaning down again so that he could speak into her ear. "Guess what?"

"What?" she asked, rather breathless.

"I don't think the ship has self destructed."

Kathryn laughed and he spun her around before pulling her back in, closer this time, taking her by surprise for a second time that evening. "Why didn't I know you could dance?"

He smiled down at her. "You never asked."

The song came to an end, replaced by something much slower and far more intimate. She covered the awkward transition by taking a step back and making a show of catching her breath.

"I think this is probably where I should be a good captain and mingle a little."

Chakotay smiled, not quite looking at her as he nodded. "All right."

She turned and walked away from him before any other ideas had a chance to take root in her mind.

"Not dancing, Harry?" she asked, as she approached the ensign, who was standing alone at the edge of the 'dance floor'.

"This music isn't really my style, Captain," he told her. "A bit maudlin, don't you think?"

Kathryn paused to listen, and heard something about needing a soft place to fall. She rested a hand on Harry's shoulder. "Maybe you're right. Hopefully the next one will be a little more up-tempo. If not, I'll have a word, how about that?"

Tom's voice behind her cut off Harry's answer. "Who knew Chakotay had such good moves eh, Captain?"

She laughed, turning to face him as she said, "Perhaps it just took your music, Tom. But then again-" she paused, momentarily knocked off track as she saw that Chakotay had a new dance partner. She belatedly realised the young woman was Ensign Valleta. It took Kathryn a moment to recognise her, out of uniform and with the long, loose waves of her distinct red hair moving gently against her back as the slow rhythm of the dance went on. "Then again," she went on, recovering quickly, "none of us get enough time to… let our hair down… do we?" She turned to Harry again and patted his shoulder again with a smile. "Enjoy yourself tonight, Ensign Kim. That's an order."

"Yes, Ma'am."

She made her way to the firepit to claim what Neelix assured her was something that tasted "even better than pulled pork" (Kathryn wasn't sure she agreed, but wasn't going to say as much) and then did the rounds for another half an hour, chatting here and there. She didn't see Chakotay again, but assumed he was still dancing with Valletta. _Well, he deserves it,_ she mused, finishing the last bite of her meal and absently dusting her hands off against her jeans. She didn't think too closely about what "it" might equate to, but despite the memory of his scent still lingering about her she was relieved, somehow. It put her flirting and their own dance in perspective. And, with him now occupied elsewhere in full view of the crew, tomorrow would hold no ugly rumours about the command team to mar the evening.

All in all, Kathryn thought to herself, watching from the edge of the ring of light as her people enjoyed themselves, the week had been a resounding success. And it was about time she left them to enjoy the last of it.

[TBC]


	3. Chapter 3

Kathryn slipped away from the gathering, leaving without anyone seeing. She wanted a final walk before returning to the ship – a last chance to linger in the fresh, quiet night air before finally giving it up for the recycled oxygen and familiar hum of _Voyager_.

She took a circuitous route back to the transport rendezvous point, meandering through the trees rather than along the path Neelix had designated. The sound of the gathering followed her, but at a remove, as if the clearing where the crew were had been trapped inside a bubble. Kathryn Janeway thought of everything and nothing, of home and family; of what she missed most and what she found she didn't miss at all; about what might have been and what couldn't be; about what she wanted and what she must not want. At length she found herself beside a lake that glittered with the light of the crescent moon overhead, and realised she'd wandered further than she intended. She leaned against a tree overhanging the water, watching the explosion of ripples that disturbed the surface as the native fish snapped dawdling bugs from the night air.

_It could almost be home,_ she thought. _Or have I been away from Earth for so long that I've forgotten what it's truly like?_

"You promised to stay."

His voice in the quiet made her jump. She turned to see Chakotay a few feet behind her, swathed in shadows. Calming her startled heart, she shrugged as he walked closer.

"I didn't say how long I'd stay for," she pointed out. "Besides, here I am – still here."

"You knew what I meant."

"Did I? Perhaps you should have been more specific, Chakotay."

He stopped when there were still a few paces between them. "All right. Maybe I should have been. So here I am, being specific. Don't leave yet. The party's hardly started. Come back and stay until the end."

She smiled. "No, I don't think so. I showed my face – I danced, even. It's better if I call it a night."

"Better? Why?"

"I think having the Captain around is probably a bit odd for some of the crew. I want them to enjoy themselves without feeling as if I'm watching their every move. I don't want them to be uncomfortable."

Chakotay moved closer. "Uncomfortable? Who would be uncomfortable? Unless… you wouldn't mean… Ensign Valletta, by any chance?"

She flashed him a look. "I don't mean anyone in particular, Chakotay. Just in general."

"I have a slight problem there," he added, almost as if she hadn't spoken. "With Valletta, I mean. I think she's… got a crush on me. I probably shouldn't have danced with her, but I didn't want to brush her off in front of the entire ship."

"Why would you want to brush her off at all?" Kathryn asked, looking out at the lake again. "She's very beautiful."

"She also happens to be almost half my age."

Kathryn shrugged. "Since when was that enough of a reason? As long as you don't break her heart, I don't see a problem."

"I have no intention of breaking any hearts."

"Exactly. I'm sure you'd handle it as well as you do everything else, Chakotay." She looked up at him with a smile. "Now – I really think one of us should be aboard in case of emergencies. Go back to the party, Commander. Have fun."

Chakotay didn't move. "Weren't we discussing the fact that you reneged on a promise?"

"No, because I haven't," she reminded him. "I came to the party. I wore civvies, as you suggested. I stayed… for a while. And now I'm going."

"Don't," he said. "Don't go. Not yet."

He came a step closer, so that she had to tip her head back to meet his eye. She felt the tree behind her, as solid and real as the man who stood in front of her, too close not to feel. She breathed him in again. She wondered if he could hear how fast her heart was beating and hoped desperately that he couldn't. On nights like these, it was hard to remember why she shouldn't, why she couldn't… On nights like these, there was something between them that was almost impossible to escape. Kathryn thought she had managed it – she would have managed it, if he hadn't come after her.

She couldn't even pretend she was unhappy that he had.

"I have to," she said, her voice only just obeying her commands. "I have to go."

He stepped so close that she could have rested her forehead against his chest if she'd been able to let herself. "Take her off," he ordered.

"What?"

"I'll let you out of your promise to stay, but only if you give me something else instead. Take the Captain off. Earlier you said you sometimes wanted to. So do it now."

"That was just – a figure of speech, Chakotay. I can't separate myself like that. You of all people know that."

"You can. Think of it as a jacket. Just… slip it off for a while. Be Kathryn and just Kathryn, just here, just now. Then you can put it back on again and carry on as normal."

"Chakotay-" Somehow, he'd moved even closer.

"Five minutes," he murmured, raising one hand to run his fingers slowly along the edge of her open collar.

Something was buzzing in her ears. "What?"

"One minute for every year we've been out here. You don't think you're owed that? Five minutes without the Captain. Five minutes of you and just you. That's what I want."

She sucked in a shaky breath. "Four," she managed.

He looked at her, amused. "Bargaining, Kathryn?"

She shook her head, her hair catching against the tree bark behind her. "It's not five years. Not for another eight weeks and two days. It's four-"

Whatever Kathryn had imagined kissing him would be like, it wasn't this. She couldn't remember the last time a kiss had turned her to jelly, but by the end of the first minute she was quivering and molten and useless for anything except-

Chakotay pulled away, swapping their positions so that he was against the tree and then dropping to sit at its base. The pause almost brought her to senses.

"Chakotay, we have to st-"

He grasped her hand and pulled her down to him so that she was straddling his lap, towering over him in a way she never did as captain. He reached up, cupping her face in both hands and running his thumbs across her lips. She'd never seen him look so hungry, or so intent.

"Don't you dare," he said. "I've still got three minutes, Kathryn, and so help me-"

She kissed him this time, revelling in it - the fury of it, the feel. She opened his mouth with hers and heard the noise he made, a low growl that thrummed through their connection and into her ribcage. Chakotay's hands left her face, stroking down her torso and then wrapping around her, holding her tightly until she could hardly breathe. The next minute she found herself underneath him as he rolled them over, the hard weight of his body enveloping her, dwarfing her. She could smell the earth beneath them and the water behind them, musty and fresh and just so beautiful, so real. He trailed his lips along her jaw and down her neck until they brushed her collar, and then they followed the edge of that, too, but that was too much, because there was only a minute left and if he did that…

Kathryn pulled him back up to face her, lips finding his one last time, and she didn't want to let go, she didn't want to stop - but…

Chakotay gently pulled her up until they were sitting, facing each other, one arm still around her, his free hand caressing her neck. The last kiss he placed to her lips was slow and soft. It lingered until he smiled against her, the curve of his lips the final touch between them.

He pulled away but didn't stand, reaching up to run his fingers through her hair.

"Pretty sure that's four minutes," he whispered.

"Really?" she whispered back. "Felt like about two."

He laughed softly at that, and then helped her to her feet, though their hands seemed to refuse to part.

"Chakotay," she began, "I-"

"It's all right," he said, before she could continue. "Trust me. It'll be all right. You're still the captain. You just-"

"-took it off for a while."

He smiled. "Exactly."

Kathryn smiled back and then looked down at herself. "Hmm. Perhaps I'd better request a site-to-site straight to my quarters," she muttered, trying and failing to brush away a smudge of mud from her once pristine jeans.

He grinned.

Chakotay stayed with her as she contacted Tuvok to make the request. His dark eyes seemed to be fixed on her face, as if trying to etch something into his memory. When she couldn't avoid it any more, she looked up at him, and felt an invisible hand clenching around her heart. _Put the Captain back on_, she told herself. _You can do it._

"Enjoy the rest of the evening, Commander," she said.

"Thank you – Captain." For a moment he looked as if he wanted to say something else. And then - "For the record, there's not an Ensign Valletta in the universe that can change the fact that I-"

Tuvok's efficiency cut off the end of his sentence. A minute later Captain Janeway found herself back in her quarters.

She stood absolutely still for all of a minute.

[END. ALMOST]


	4. Chapter 4

**PADD COMMUNIQUE**

**TO:** CAPTAIN KATHRYN JANEWAY

**FROM:** COMMANDER CHAKOTAY

**SUBJECT:** ANNIVERSARY

Captain,

A member of the crew has recently brought to my attention the fact that in eight weeks and two days – actually eight weeks and one day now, I beg your pardon – we will have spent five years on our journey.

Perhaps we should meet to discuss possible ways of marking this event. To my mind, some kind of annual commemoration could even be in order.

It need only take a minute.

_Chakotay_

[END]


End file.
